Michelle's Story
by Michelle C
(September 2005)
My name is Michelle - I was adopted through the Easter House in 1966. I always
knew I was adopted and although I was curious I never really thought I would
find my birthmother for fear of hurting my adopted mother.
When I was 34 years
old I gave birth to my second son - he looked so much like me it was just
incredible. I decided at that moment that I needed to find my birthmother -
someone out there looked like just like me - I knew in my heart it was
time.
I had pushed away the feelings for so many years that in the beginning my search I was almost obsessive, I couldn't think of anything else. It didn't take long for me to realize what a struggle it would be to find her.
My adopted mom had very little information - she thought my birthmom was from Indiana, thought she was older and didn't have much money. Thought she was Irish, German and French.. Not much to go on - one saving grace, the Easter House had left my hospital band on - I knew my birth name - this helped tremendously for both my search and my spirits - I knew she cared enough to name me.
Through my search - of which the Easter House provided no information whatsoever - I came across an incredible woman named Melissa Mitchell from The White Oak Foundation - she provided me with so much information - I also belonged to numerous chat groups that really provided me with the support I needed.
Being that my case was so difficult I was referred to someone who found my birthmother through the sealed records (only take a referral from someone you really trust) - from the date I hired him it took approximately 2 days for him to find my birthmom.
I am told that he is no longer doing this - I was lucky - I think I was towards the end of the line with adoptees that he helped.
Turned out my information was way off - my birthmom was from Chicago - she was very young and very poor - the Easter House charged my adopted parents for "my birthmother's care" - funny, I was born in Cook County Hospital and she had no prenatal care!
Some information on my adopted parents - they were a bit older (in their 30's), lived close by (Des Plaines), were turned down by other Chicago agencies for adopting a child.
My birthmother was told that I was adopted by a family that lived in another State - she said they told her they did this so that I would not have the chance later to marry a sibling.
When she was looking for me she was looking outside of Illinois. They make it pretty damn tough for us to ever find each other!
All that aside, I am so lucky, my relationship with my birthmother is wonderful - I have a birthsister who is one year older than I (she was not given up) - we are so close - now our families all spend holidays together!
Like I said, I am lucky - so blessed - I know not all reunions turn out this way.
All I can tell all of you who are still looking is make sure you do things for the right reason, be honest with yourself and your adopted parents (remember how much they love you).
You may not find your birthfamily when you want it to happen - you will find them when you are meant too - there are little angels everywhere helping out - believe me.
~ Michelle
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